2.04.2008

How to Make a Placenta Print

When your placenta has finished the work of nourishing and protecting a baby, this multi-talented organ can also make some lovely art! Placenta prints make a wonderful keepsake for the baby book, or you can frame it and have fun watching your friends wonder just how that pretty tree-like art was made. This is a really nice project to do with a friend/doula/midwife in the first couple of days after birth, and is a natural opportunity to reflect on your birth experience. Try not to wait more than about three days, though -- print quality will suffer as the placenta starts to deteriorate.

What you'll need:
  • Any decent acid-free art paper will do. Watercolor paper can be especially nice.
  • Ink -- acid-free stamp pads are perfect for this kind of project. Buy several colors; some will "take" or look better than others. Green and purple are my personal favorites.
  • A fresh placenta, obviously. Ask your midwife to wrap it up and put it in the fridge after the birth.
  • Latex gloves (optional). Otherwise, towels to wipe those messy hands!

Step One: Lay the placenta out on a flat surface (cord-side up) and cover it with ink:


Step Two: Press your paper down on top of the inky placenta:


Step Three: Carefully pull up your paper and admire your pretty work!


Tips & Tricks for placenta print success:
  • For your first print, try using the blood that's already on the placenta (below, left).
  • If your paper is big enough, you don't have to limit yourself to just one print per page. In fact, you can do one print from the maternal side, and one from the fetal side.
  • And if you're artsy, consider putting down a background color first, as seen below, right.
  • Expect to make at least a dozen prints to get one that you love.

197 comments:

Lisa Barrett said...

The double placenta picture is fantastic.

Anonymous said...

A few more tips from my placenta printing experience:

I found it helps to lay the placenta on a towel on a cookie sheet to reduce mess.

I tried to rinse it off in the sink first...Make sure you use REALLY cold water!

Its worth buying some high-quality, acid-free watercolor paper to print on.

I also experimented with hand painting another color onto the veins, to give it a more "tree-like" look.

Anonymous said...

Can the placenta still be cooked and eaten or does the ink ruin it for this purpose?

rduht said...

Your Best Choice! wow power leveling and wow gold wow gold

123 123 said...

Nice article as for me. I'd like to read a bit more about that topic.
BTW look at the design I've made myself High class escort

Lynnea Shrief said...

No, you shouldn't consume a placenta once it's been painted. You can lie cling film over the placenta to ensure the paint does not effect it and then print over top but it's tricky. www.koalatherapies.com Koala Therapies Placenta Encapsulation UK

Anonymous said...

Ew. That's disgusting.

Anonymous said...

I link wow gold and archlord power levelingor wow gold

Anonymous said...

I still have a placenta in the freezer. Do you think I could still do this?

Anonymous said...

You can still print on a placenta that is frozen. Let it thaw in the fridge for a couple of days :) Worked perfectly for me after my placenta had been frozen for a year :)

Anonymous said...

You can use blood from the birth instead of ink and then the placenta is still safe for consumption.

Anonymous said...

Does nobody realise that this is medical waste? Anything that rots should not be kept as momentos. Ugh.

Where are all of the framed appendix pics or framed foreskins?

QR said...

What the hell is wrong with all of you? Painting with it is one thing...EATING it is a whole other level of crazy.

Anonymous said...

NO! NO NO NO NO

Anonymous said...

What the hell is wrong with you people? You DON'T EAT A PLACENTA! That is disgusting. If you get some weird disease you earned it.

Anonymous said...

I don't know what's more disturbing - that some people actually consider these "artworks" good & something they'd like to have in their home, or that some people want to eat them.
People continue to disturb me.

Anonymous said...

*Shudder*

Anonymous said...

It would only be a "waste" only if the foreskins are thrown away like trash. They should either be saved or (if you are a neo-Pagan) ritually burnt if it's necessary to produce rain for your crops.

Pearl Heart said...

Etsy! Here we come!

whimsiclekris said...

Eating placentas is what malnournished animals do to regain some of the many vitamins/minerals/proteins lost during pregnancy.

Are you ladies thinking about eating your placentas malnourished? Or are you well-fed, middle-class white women who spend too much time reading homeopathy magazines?

AshPlant said...

What a waste of a perfectly decent placenta that you could blow up like a balloon, use as a stylish yet affordable lampshade, or wrap round your neck and be THE hit of the garden party.

Anonymous said...

Eating the placenta is believed to reduce the risks of postpartum depression and hemorrhaging. Some people like to make a print of the placenta as a reminder of the organ their body grew to transfer nutrients to their growing baby. We put ours in (a sealed bag in) the freezer, and we're going to bury it in the yard and plant a tree over it as a symbol of our daughter's birth and growth.

The point is, the parents have a decision to make about what to do with the placenta. There are different reasons for different decisions, but informing yourself through research will always be more fruitful than following your kneejerk reaction of "eww, medical waste".

Anonymous said...

Most of the research I do doesn't lead me to eat discarded human body parts. What library are you going to?

Anonymous said...

Eating a human bodily organ, even your own, is a little too close to cannibalism, in my view.

Make it art, or plant a tree - art and keepsakes are a personal matter. But if it comes out of your body or somebody else's, eating it is repulsive.

Anonymous said...

The research I do, the more I realize just how unless it is to keep it. Perhaps I'll change my mind once I pop a kid or two out.

ChandraKai said...

To all those who are grossed out by the idea of eating a placenta: How about of all the horrible things we consume from factory farms without thinking twice? I'd much rather consume a human placenta instead of a tortured animal whose been crammed into a tiny cage and given steroids, or processed foods that are mostly chemicals. Just a thought.

Anonymous said...

You realize that every creature with ovaries can produce life, right? So really, you're just doing what your body was designed to do. Nothing out of the ordinary.

On top of that, why keep something to make disgusting 'art' with it, when you can donate it to save a premature baby?
Hmm... homemade organ art, or saving a baby's life?
Well, we all know which you chose.

whimsiclekris said...

Hey Chandra, d'you know how many different chemicals have been stuffed into your body over the years? You don't even need to eat tortured animals, all you need to do is go outside and breathe. Just a thought.

knitphomaniac said...

zomg really? are we going to start the debate btwn eating placentas vs eating animals?

This whole thing about eating human placentas for whatever reason is some wackado pseudo-new-age-neo-pseudo-pagan thing to do for a bunch of lonely SAHM's who really have nothing better to do with their time. My mother never ate placentas, and she didn't have postpartum depression. And it still rained outside. And crops still grew. And no one got run over by a heard of trucks or got mangled by locusts.

If you really want to prevent post partum depression, take a day off from consuming your white-suburban-mom novelty drugs, add a little more juice to your vodka in the morning, look into eating organic vegetables and unhormoned foods, not your own afterbirth.

Because seriously, this is just weird. If my friends saw afterbirth hanging on the walls, they wouldn't admire it with wonder, they'd send me on a one way ticket to the nutbarn.

Berry said...

"Wow, what's that on your wall?"

"That's my placenta print! Fresh from the cervix! But don't worry, we put klingwrap on it so it wouldn't get ruined for the family BBQ!"

"...F*&#@! RUN!"

Also, EATING PLACENTA?

This is all I have to say to that--> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J42deZUktyU

ChandraKai said...

Hello whimsical kris, I try to stay chemical-free so that's not an issue. Any steps we can take to make the world a more humane place has value. Just because there are many pollutants in the air does not mean that we should give up on Mother Earth and turn to savagery.

John Foley said...

Earth is not a woman.

Anonymous said...

"Eating the placenta is believed to reduce the risks of postpartum depression and hemorrhaging."

Some people believe the Earth is flat, too. Doesn't make it true. The placenta is an expelled part of the woman's own body, what compounds it contains were made by her body not something that could reduce the chance of hemorrhaging or depression at all.

Anonymous said...

Animals do a lot of things we don’t do. They stimulate their young by licking the relevant orifices. Then they clean the waste off the young the same way. They also eat the runt of the litter...and their own shit.
Natural for animals isn’t necessarily natural for humans.

Kris said...

It is safe to assume that if the placenta is a barrier (and not at all a super awesome one at that, see link) then where do you think those toxins and other nefarious substances are going? INTO THE PLACENTA. Have a good time eating your chemical soup, literally. GROSS! PS: I've had 4 babies and never ONCE did I think of EATING the placenta.

http://www.fitpregnancy.com/pregnancy/health/myth-placental-barrier

whimsiclekris said...

Chandra - being against animal torture and not eating things that fall out of your vagina are not mutually exclusive.

ChandraKai said...

Okay - for all you skeptics out there, here's an example of some placenta recipes:

http://www.twilightheadquarters.com/placenta.html

I have seen sushi that looks grosser than this. Even famous celebrities like Tom Cruise have eaten the afterbirths delivered with their children. The taste is similar to veal but the placenta is not crated up and brutally killed, of course :)

Anonymous said...

You guys disguisting and freaks of nature!!!!!!! You should seek professional therapy not holistic crap.

Anonymous said...

If you're going to argue against crazy, you might want to find someone other than Tom Cruise to back you up.

knitphomaniac said...

ChandraKai - there are many things wrong with your reply.

a) the use of 'placenta' and 'recipe' in the same sentence

b) referencing a site called 'twilight headquarters'

c) using Tom Cruise's actions to validate doing ANYTHING

d) claiming that placenta tastes like anything other than chicken

Anonymous said...

If your body naturally expels something, it is not meant for you to put it back in! If there was a valid reason to consume a placenta our body would simply reabsorb it.

BTW another reason animals eat their afterbirth is to hide the smell from predators. What is coming after your hippie babies? "oh no, its the Republicans!!! Quick, eat the placenta!"

Anonymous said...

What a horrific display. Maybe instead of focusing on making 'art' out of (or worse, eating) something that is only a few short steps away from the clots in your menstrual flow, you should put all of this time and effort into making your new infant's life better?

Also, cite some actual, peer reviewed medical journals about the benefits of consuming biological waste, not someone who's entire career is based around making money on gullible, crystal-wearing new agers.

Themizduck said...

Chandra, you said something about turning away from savagery... wth do you call eating your placenta??? Sunday brunch? Most civilized people I know don't ingest things that have been expelled from their bodies. Just sayin'.

Anonymous said...

hahaha yes, menstrual clots! that's exactly what I thought when I saw this. Am I supposed to be collecting them? Is that what y'all do? Or are menstrual clots not ripened enough?

Carrie Ididnoteatmyplacenta Cabral said...

Chandra, you are of your fucking rocker. Do you seriously think you can convince us it's okay because celebrities like "Tom Cruise" did it? Tom Cruise's entire religion is based on the existence of an evil space overlord and Martian ghosts. I EXPECT his crazy ass to eat placenta. Having grown up on a farm, I understand the difference between us and the animals. We don't eat our placentas, or our shit or our babies shit. We don't lick our own asses or our babies asses... Spouses are optional. Everyone likes to have their salad tossed every once in a while...just not with a medium rare placenta.

ChandraKai said...

John Foley, I was referring to earth as female because the Greek goddess Gaia is symbolic of Earth, while Uranus is the god of the sky. Gaia was not ashamed of her femininity and even found power in her womb blood. Women who want to get in touch with their feminine power or "inner goddess" sometimes turn to placenta or menstrual art to explore those feelings.

Disgusted said...

1)This doesn't even look like a tree. It looks like you took a poor defenseless, disabled jellyfish and beat it against a piece of paper

2) Eating your own organs is a form of self cannibalism. I am genuinely concerned for your mental health

3) I contacted Tom Cruise for a quote, he just laughed and said 'I ate her placenta with some fava beans and a nice chianti'

ChandraKai said...

Hi Themizduck, I see savagery as violence or cruelty toward other sentient beings; since the placenta is part of one's own body, I don't think it's savage to consume it or use it for artistic purposes.

Anonymous said...

Goodness, how crazy can you people get?! Really, go get treated. This is sick and gross.

Anonymous said...

Screw it, this is a small price to pay. Shit like this just makes me wish the entire human race would go extinct. Getting rid of the placenta eaters and foreskin framers is well worth just entirely eliminating humanity.

Holy. Effing. Crap.

Anonymous said...

i would never eat my placenta. but i do eat my boogers.

to each her own.

ChandraKai said...

Hi Carrie, some might think Tom Cruise is eccentric, but regardless he has been very successful in life. Besides, placentophagy is a common practice in Vietnam and China by people who are perfectly sane and understand the medical and spiritual benefits of it. I know that most Americans are repulsed by the idea, but it's a cultural viewpoint that is changing and evolving towards acceptance in the U.S.

Anonymous said...

Chandra, communism and drowning female babies are common practices in China. So I guess that makes it perfectly sensible, hm? Also, "spiritual benefits"? Are you fucking kidding me? You, lady, are a complete nutjob. I can only hope you abstain from sullying the gene pool any further.

Anonymous said...

ChandraKai,

You know what else is common in other countries? Cutting off the lips of a girl's vagina, having babies at the age of 12, and selling little boys as prostitutes.
By saying that 'another country does it', is not a good enough reason to do it.

Same with celebrities. Just because someone rich and famous does something, doesn't mean you should follow suit. If that's the cause, we all need to get botox, fake boobs, multi-million dollar mansions we can't afford, name our kids after numbers and fruit, cheat on our spouses, get multiple divorces, and do so many drugs that we can no longer tell our ass from our toes.

Your reasons are full of holes as to why someone should actually do this.

Anonymous said...

I think some of you are overreacting. Placenta could be quite tasty with a few fingernail clippings and some hair tossed in for added texture.

i need no fucking name said...

Ah, yes, I am a self-loathing, animal-murdering dickbag if I don't base my self-worth on both my reproductive ability and on my adherence to social constructs like "femininity". Yes, I have to celebrate my body, even though it is just a body, something that every human has and 50% of humans have that are similar enough to mine, instead of my actions and how they affect and benefit society. I do this through cannibalism (not even autocannibalism since the placenta is formed from embryonic tissue) and playing with bodily waste and fluids, all while deliberately confusing issues and not really knowing what the fuck I'm spouting. Fucking delicious, bitches.

SomeoneGetMeBleach said...

ChandraKai, I spent several years working for an internationally famous doctor who is widely regarded as the high priest of woo woo. He'd think you are irresponsible to recommend people eat this.
Eating your placenta is not a "cultural viewpoint." It is an organ that is expelled because the body no longer finds it useful or helpful.
I have spent lots of time in both Vietnam and China and in neither place is this common -- and it is becoming even less and less common as more people have access to education and medical care. The only people who practice this in the US are people who are co-opting cultural references that are no longer relevant to the cultures who originally created them. Gaia? Really? Uranus??? Not a lot of Greeks still running around sacrificing goats to Uranus. While your intentions are no doubt benign, please celebrate your own culture without pretending to someone elses. It is no less offensive than a nice Jewish lady from New York who insisted on being called Cheyenne LittleEagle and did drumming circles. Benign in intent, but utterly offensive to genuine Native Americans.
I applaud your desire to be gentle to our planet. Recycle, drive a hybrid, whatever. But please don't recommend that people paint with or eat their medical waste.

ChandraKai said...

Anonymous, China is not perfect. Like the U.S., they have a patriarchal system with an extreme anti-female bias. Consuming their own placentas is one of the ways Chinese women keep hold of what little power they have. Infanticide has been a problem in China, but how about the woman in Texas who drowned her five children? If only she had consumed their placentas, she might not become psychotic from postpartum depression, and they might still be alive today.

Anonymous said...

"We put ours in (a sealed bag in) the freezer, and we're going to bury it in the yard and plant a tree over it as a symbol of our daughter's birth and growth."

Couldn't you daughter be a symbol of your daughter's birth and growth?

kre said...

I am a pagan. I am also a mother. Here's what I find wrong and disgusting with ALL of this:

A - A woman's ability to carry, develop and nurture life is a wonderful and powerful (not to mention empowering) experience. However, the desire to consume the lining of one's own womb is neither "natural," nor empowering. It IS disgusting, and not in the least bit beneficial to our physical or mental health. The reason we have an innate and biological sense of disgust is to prevent disease, maintain our health, and, at the most basic level, keep our genetics functional. Eating the no-longer-functional temporary organ that comes out after having a baby does NONTHING to honor nature and Mother Earth (Gaia) as our source of life. Rather, caring for the new life we have born is the best way to do that. Becoming a mother, and looking to the earth mother for inspiration in how to best care for and nurture our young is what we should focus on, not... this.

B - Creating art with a placenta is like leaving a blood-spill on the floor. Even if your own blood is clean and free of disease, it decays. And with decay comes disease - the microbes and insects that feed on it carry the diseases, and leaving blood in the open air (covering it with plastic wrap isn't going to prevent anything, since the paper and plastic are already teeming with microbes), quite frankly, is dangerous. We don't sit around and watch dead things rot, and in the dark- and middle ages, once people figured out that the rot of death made people sick, they did their best to get rid of it (burial, crypts, cremation, etc.). Keeping it in the freezer doesn't make this better. We would never take meat (industrial, organic, home-grown, or otherwise) out of the freezer, let it thaw, and keep the paper that soaked up the blood and fluids from it. Doing this with a placenta isn't different. Just because its from you or another human doesn't change anything. You are still an animal, and your flesh decays the same way - all-natural and organic or not.

C - When, in the feminist and/or pagan movements, did menstrual blood and afterbirth become miraculous and wonderful!? These are not empowering - they are waste products produced by our female bodies. One from *not* producing new life, the other from its purpose being fulfilled and done. In my point of view, the life itself is the miracle. To this day, I have not found one other pagan woman who actually or honestly delights in her menstrual cycle, despite being told over and over that we should and ought to. As any woman knows, the damn thing HURTS! We become cranky, bloated, uncomfortable, and are witness to our own bodies tearing out the preparation for new life that didn't happen this month. That's never been my idea of a "powerful" good time. As for giving birth - despite the pain and the process, it IS miraculous. But isn't the child reminder and joy enough of this process? Wrapping up and dragging home the discarded uterine lining ALONG with the newborn seems awfully displaced, priority-wise. God forbid anyone ever keeps one in the freezer long enough to show to the kid's first date. Personally, I think that'd do some degree of psychological damage to the child. It'd almost be like saying, "Look, sweetie. Here's the part of you that will never grow up. Isn't that special?"

Yeah, this whole keeping-it-to-paint with your placenta idea is wrong on so many levels... and none of them are the morals, standards or values of someone who doesn't understand Pagans.

Anonymous said...

Chandra, you must be trolling. I refuse to believe that you honestly think that "if only she had consumed their placentas", a tragedy may have been averted. You're disgusting.

i need no fucking name said...

Really, ChandraKai? Blaming Andrea Yates' mental illness on her not eating the placenta? Are you fucking kidding me? That is one of the most offensive, dickish, ignorant things I've ever had the misfortune of reading. You are an ignorant, goddamn, fucking asshole. I would say that you should be ashamed of yourself, but I don't believe your brain is complex enough to be able to produce that emotion.

i need no fucking name said...

Ugh, you better be trolling. In any case, I'm out. You'll make my brain melt and start leaking out my ears.

SomeoneGetMeBleach said...

ChandraKai, where are you getting this crap about China?? The only women eating placenta there are doing it as a source of protein after giving birth on a dirt floor in their poor villages. They don't have the luxury of being suburban neo-pagans making a feminist statement. They are poor. I've been there, worked with them, and know them. And yes, they get postpartum depression at the same rates as other women. Also, Andrea Yates had far more mental issues than just postpartum depression -- and I hardly think that a meal of medical waste would have helped her. You are incorrect. And now you are just desperately grabbing at wackery in order to bolster your incorrect position.

Anonymous said...

Tom Cruise ate a placenta? Well, no suprise there. Scientologists are fucking crazy. They would also leave a baby untouched in a room alone for their first few days of life.

Anonymous said...

Enjoy Hell, Devils!

Anonymous said...

I am not a believer in neo-paganist rituals, however, I am interested in having a more traditional "family appropriate" postpartum placenta party. I noticed a couple posts on libraries and was hoping someone could guide me towards party planning does-and-don'ts for serving placenta. I consider myself to be a creative person, so, I am not looking for advice on setting and party favors, etc. I am more interested in basic etiquette. I have been storing this memory in a meat freezer in our basement for a year so my daughter is now coming off of blended food.

Is it appropriate for my daughter to eat this? I am also worried there may be, as mentioned, some health concerns for a child so young.

Anonymous said...

RE: My post on the PPP...

We are also debating setting aside a portion of the placenta to be blended so it should be easier for her to consume. We are doing this in place of her 1st birthday, so, not allowing her to take part fully might be upsetting for her.

Anonymous said...

I lived in China for years, in both very rural villages (in deserts and mountains), and in cities, and never, ever once encountered any woman who ate a placenta. This sounds like mythology (like Gaia, Uranus etc) and not actual, verifiable data.

Anonymous said...

"Even famous celebrities like Tom Cruise have eaten the afterbirths delivered with their children."

You lost me when you used Tom Cruise to back up your already shaky argument.

Anonymous said...

This was a very well written and creative way to share, and, be reminded of this special memory. We have a relationship with a family that placed the placenta in formaldehyde. This was just an obvious choice for having it open and constantly in view. It never occured to them to do a print. Do you think it would possible to clean the placenta in such a way that a good quality print could be made?

Anonymous said...

This is insanity. Yates had way more issues than PPD. Remember how her husband make her quit taking the medications needed for her to stay sane? And how he ignored all the signs she was loosing it?

I've carried placentas in bags marked "Medical Waste" to the lab in the hospital, and trust me they're not adding spices to it

Anonymous said...

Sick, sick, sick. I wish I could send you a get well card. To the woman who wants to feed her frozen placenta to her 1 year old, I hope someone calls CPS on you! You are truly deranged.

SheShe said...

You know what would be a thousand times more admirable to the earth than making pasta topped with spicy placenta or making a germ infested print of something that looks like a deflated balloon? Donating core blood to save other infants lives. But whatever, you wont even attempt to do this. No really, you can just help woman by painting them an homage with your used tampons. Almost as good!

Anonymous said...

I'd feed my placenta to my backyard chickens. They already eat gross things, and I'm sure it would make Gaia or whoever really happy.

Anonymous said...

To the "placenta party" parent, I have two suggestions. Neither of them are judgmental so please don't be alarmed.

1) It would indeed be a very bad idea to feed your child some of the placenta. Meat is only really safe for adults when frozen for 4-6 months or less. Children are much more sensitive, especially a 1 year old. Also, the placenta meat was not treated with the same legal regulations and standards as normal meat that has been "okayed" for children's consumption by the government. There is no way to guarantee or test that it is safe enough for your child to eat, and your first concern MUST be the physical safety of your child. Without your precious child, your placenta party is, after all, completely pointless.

2) As an artist I would recommend paper lamps/placemats. You can put a placenta pattern on them if you wish and then burn them afterwords, again, for your health. It is not a good idea to keep any sort of art made with blood around your house for any length of time. You will want to make sure to wash your hands after making any party favors with the placenta and not let your child have a placenta placemat or come in contact with the placenta.

I hope this helps. I have no interest in judging you at all, but your child absolutely must be protected from the common-sense health risks of potentially contaminated meat that has been frozen for twice as long as the recommended time.

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure by power in her menstrual blood you are referring to the power females feel at the time that they menstrate. I'm pretty sure she wasn't painting fucking pictures with her vaginal waste.

Chrononus said...

Women DO paint pictures with their menstrual blood. Look on Etsy. A little disturbing.

And anyone contemplating, participating in, or condoning placental consumption (for themselves, much less for their children) needs to have their damned heads examined. The only spiritual thing about this act is purely in your own heads.

Anonymous said...

I don't care what any of you say; that's nasty. I think people who eat their own placentas should take the next logical step and move to caves where they can paint on the walls with their own feces and drink their own urine. The rest of us can eat delicious processed foods and not make "art" out of menstrual blood. Deal?

Anonymous said...

ChandraKai
If you or your sprog has to have an appendectomy will this organ make it to the dinner table too?

Party planner - just pop it in the blender, add some milk (breast is best!) and powdered sugar and can frost some cupcakes.

Anonymous said...

Don't feed the troll.

Anonymous said...

Geez... I bet you people would eat a miscarriage too.

Anonymous said...

My placenta almost killed me by breaking apart after I gave birth to my son. Do you really think I want a reminder of that on my wall or to EAT IT? YA CRAZIES!!!

Not only that but your body gets rid of it so you don't keep bleeding out and die. So eating it basically goes against what your own body wants dome with it. THROW IT AWAY!!!

Go take care of your child instead of playing with something that is bodily waste!!!

Anonymous said...

Tonight on Iron Chef America... BATTLE PLACENTA!!!

Juddie said...

I am just ... speechless. This has made my day!

AshPlant said...

"how about the woman in Texas who drowned her five children? If only she had consumed their placentas, she might not become psychotic from postpartum depression, and they might still be alive today"

Three things here.
1)You don't know she didn't, so what the fuck are you talking about?
2)I, personally, would see eating the fecking placenta more as a sign of the mental unbalances that lead someone to do something like that. You don't know what you're talking about.
3)You fail at compassion, forever. And don't know what you're talking about.
4)Actually, I'll grant you that your statement is strictly logical, because it's full of ifs, mights, and progression. However:
5)Dear god you have no clue whatsoever what you are talking about. I long to live in your world, where consuming a tangle of temporary blood vessels solves everything in life. I can only imagine the dire straits of those who never obtain this miracle cure-all, be they childless, male, or sane enough to let the doctors throw it away.

anonoddraig said...

wow, what a trollfest. Hilarious!

Anonymous said...

no-one on here has the slightest idea about childbirth...the placenta ISN'T part of the woman, it's part of the BABY. If you can morally bring yourself to eat a discarded organ of your newborn then go ahead...if it's leg fell off would you eat that too? But to claim it has supernatural/healing powers is ludicrous.

Lady Bajingo said...

Anything my body discards is to be discarded. I would not consume my menstrual blood, my vomit, my urine or feces. Why would I consume my afterbirth?

Further, I am not so enamored with my bajingo that I feel the need to embrace my wombynhood by devouring one of the organs that was attached to my uterus.

If you want to stave off post-partum depression, go for a walk, talk to a friend, and if you are still having problems GO TO A GODDAMNED DOCTOR AND TAKE A GODDAMNED PILL.

This is my biggest problem with this entire crunchy granola/mother earth/fucking bullshit mentality. WERE IT NOT for the medical advances made long, long ago, natural selection would have gotten your namby-pamby upper-middle-class placenta-print-making white asses a long time ago. If you can afford a doula, acid-free paper, someone to clean your granite countertops, and a nanny to keep your kid quiet for the first two days so you have time to make this idiotic craft, then you're obviously all of the things I described above. Certainly you're not working 40 hrs/week at Wal Mart and worrying about the power bill.

Better living through pharmaceuticals FTW.

P.S. The vast majority of the population are either still in the hospital or just coming home from the hospital two days after birth. Because they have thier births supervised by medical staff, not a midwife that comes and then leaves very soon after. And God (or mythological creatures) forbid there be mothers like myself who don't love thier babies AT ALL and have three medically required c-sections and don't use a midwife at all!! OH THE HUMANITY!!!

Anonymous said...

heres a tip throw the freaking thing out it's afterbirth for crying out loud not a keepsake or a food item

Anonymous said...

Eating your placenta isn't going to cure disease, stop pollution or end world hunger, let alone inform your community to the plight of the indigenous people living in rural Thailand any more than having a Tibetan nanny will.

This is racism in its best form, hidden behind the good intentions of a white person trying hard to appear culturally aware by doing things they think the threatened indigenous people living in handmade huts in rural Mongolia might have done before western culture came in and destroyed them by giving them Medicine, education, running water and food.

Anonymous said...

If this is feminism then I think I'm better off without.

Anonymous said...

What is this I don't even...

Anonymous said...

Some days I hope for the end of the world...it would put an end to so much fuckery.

CarrieIdidnoteatmyplacentaandimgoing tohadesforitCabral said...

Bwahahaha! I once heard that a man consuming menstrual blood would be forever in love with the woman whose blood it was. It's some magical, mythological mumbo jumbo. It didn't work so good for me and I dunked those tampons in my ex's morning cup of Joe every day for a week!

I had my tubes tied. Maybe I should have made them give me the pieces they cut. I bet I could dip them in tempura and it'd taste just like calimari. I wonder what ovaries taste like? How about all of you "in touch with my inner Gaia" ladies have yours removed and we can do a tasting party?! It will satisfy our curiosity on how it tastes and save the gene pool from further fouling. Convo me!

CarrieIdidnoteatmyplacentabecauseiamnotafuckingnewageidiotbutidoorganicallyfarmsoimdoingmypartCabral said...

The comment on Andrea Yates just solidified, in my mind, your complete and total ignorance and arrogance. I'm on the board at a mental hospital. Every day we fight idiots like you. Mental illness is a scientifically proven and measurable imbalance of necessary bodily chemicals, chemicals that cannot be gotten from ingesting a discarded organ from your child. Would you tell a diabetic that they could get all better by eating a few of their amputated toes or limbs? You are a total Fucktard.

I bet you breastfed your kids till they were six.

I'm sure when you die you'll get extra points from Gaia for eating your child's placenta and I bet Uranus might give you a little something to on your way to Hades. Be sure and carry extra coins for Charron though, you don't want to miss the boat. Tell Persephone I said "hi!".

CarrieIcantstopmakingfunofyouand itsalmostanobsessionCabral said...

Hi Carrie, some might think Tom Cruise is eccentric, but regardless he has been very successful in life. Besides, placentophagy is a common practice in Vietnam and China by people who are perfectly sane and understand the medical and spiritual benefits of it. I know that most Americans are repulsed by the idea, but it's a cultural viewpoint that is changing and evolving towards acceptance in the U.S.

July 15, 2011 10:03 PM
Thought I would address this too. I have MANY friends who are in obstetrics and a few who are midwives. NOT ONE of them said that the new obstetrical craze is eating your baby's placenta. I know, this probably burst your already fragile bubble and I'm sure your heavy reliance on the Bureau of Pulling Statistics Out of Your Ass is severely damaged by the knowledge that the majority of Americans think you are insane, but hey...YOU get the Gaia Good Child Rearing Seal of Approval. Congrats.

DarkSock said...

I peed in a horse once.

CarrieIdidnotpeeinoronahorseCabral said...

In or on? There's a measurable difference in the fakery levels.

CarrieIhateautocorrectCabral said...

That should say fuckery. Stupid autocorrect.

Anonymous said...

This is the funniest thread I've ever read! Thanks for the laugh, ChandraKai. I look forward to reading the next thing from Uranus.

Anonymous said...

I think it was Ann Landers who said it first:
"Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out."

Dances with Fucking Lunatics said...

Chrononus said...

"Women DO paint pictures with their menstrual blood. Look on Etsy. A little disturbing."

Yup, and there's a guy out there who literally shoots paint out of his ass onto canvas. Doesn't make it art.

Dances with Fucking Lunatics said...

As to Tom Cruise being successful, um ... could that be because he's what a lot of people consider hunky and good looking?!

If TC were ugly as one of those placenta paintings, I don't think anyone would be watching his fucking movies.

So, unless you're going to suggest that his mom ate HER placenta, I don't think the whole "Tom Cruise does it so it's awesome" bullshit argument works.

Really, Chandra, either you're a fucking moron or a veritably genius troll. For the sake of whatever offspring might fall out of your uterus (please, don't tell me you'd eat THAT, too?!), I hope it's the latter. If it's the former, Creator help us all, but it'll be raining fucking morons up in here.

And BTW, I'm a licensed psychologist and placentophagy is a paraphilia ~ and as such, is a mental DISORDER. Next thing, you'll be trying to justify eating your own shit (called "coprophagy" ~ another paraphilia). In other words, just 'cause there's a fancy name for it doesn't make it normal or correct.

CarrieIcantbelieveimstillexpendingenergytomakefunofyouCabral said...

Bwahahaha! Here, I made this for you all. I used fresher, less clotty second day menstrual blood and a Super Absorbency Tampax Tampon. It's going to make the world realize that I am wombyn, hear me roar! I can also eat glitter and shit rainbows now. Lovin' that magic!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/56887957@N02/5943952724/in/photostream

ChandraKai said...

Wow - I'm surprised at the outpouring of criticism and negativity. I apologize for being so blunt about using placentophagy to remedy post-partum depression. I agree with the other posters above that there are other medications and therapy can be necessary when it's a severe case. A medical doctor should always be consulted before resorting to self-treatment.

Also I don't know what my granite countertops have to do with any of this! Here's a healing chant help balance our chakras:

(Breathe deep) Om Jai Jagadish Hare Aarti (repeat until you have reached a state of pure relaxation.)

CarrieIdontwanttofuckingchantnowshaveyourpitsalreadyCabral said...

How about I just hold my breath till I pass out and when I come to I can pretend that this is a bad dream and you don't really do this shit...

Or I could link to an OB's site explaining why you are SO WRONG.
http://skepticalob.blogspot.com/2010/11/eat-your-placenta-and-show-you-just-how.html

CarrieIstillthinkyouarenutsandneededtoaddthisCabral said...

I also find it funny that you are recommending chanting. Do you just take parts of other people's culture and use the ones you want to justify your ridiculous beliefs? I mean, first Gaia and Uranus, then Scientology (remember the part about it being ok because Tom Cruise did it) Chinese culture and now chanting. If I was Chinese, a Scientologist or Greek I'd be seriously offended by your special form of racism.

Anonymous said...

http://youtu.be/ZOYyQLntZ5M

Appetizing

ChandraKai said...

Hello again Carrie, I believe we can gain wisdom from cultures that recognize the Goddess role in homeopathy including the ancient Greeks, Hindus, and Chinese. It is not racist to learn and share from these cultures. So please, let's agree to disagree.

I'm off to my tantric spinning class now - it's an "East meets West" therapeutic fitness regime I highly recommend to cleanse body and spirit. Some people are put off by the lack of bicycle seats, but once you get the hang of it, it is a truly amazing and transcendent experience. Have a blessed weekend.

CarrieImrunningoutofshittosayCabral said...

Well, you have fun on your seatless bike in yourntantric spinning class. One question, where do you sit or does the seat post just tuck neatly into your vagina? Say hi to Sting for me. Kthxbai.

Anonymous said...

It would seem with that 1:42pm post, ChandraKai outed herself as a veritable genius of a troll. Well played, I am in awe.

Anonymous said...

Yes. That one goes in the troll hall-of-fame. Well played, sir or madam, well played indeed.

faunablues said...

My goodness... a couple of things -
1. If I remember correctly, the placenta is mostly a product of the embryo, but the very outer part is maternal issue. It varies with species, but I think this is the case with humans. In that sense I get the symbolism of the placenta, mom & baby tissues together, used to nourish the baby, blah blah blah, ok.
2. The placenta does produce hormones, which I'm guessing is why some believe eating it may help depression (no one suspects it can make it worse, for whatever reason!). I don't know of any actual studies on that, though.
3. Please don't suggest you're eating a placenta and therefore sparing a poor animal. If you hold that view about modern farming, then you're probably vegetarian/vegan anyway, and if not, then you're at peace with the killing of animals because you ate a placenta for one meal? What's next, squaring away your guilt over buying sweatshop garments by buying one US-made one? It does not make sense. Also, as a vegan, please don't associate animal activism with autocannibalism. People already think we're nutty; don't put the nail in the coffin!
4. If you want to eat your placenta, fine. If you want to make a memento out of it, cool (I'd suggest you not use its blood, and have it preserved in formalin first to make it sterile, but whatever). But don't act like this is some mystic moon magick that is a special part of human history, the animal kingdom, or some culture you're misappropriating. Further, you're not being one with your animal nature by picking and choosing what animal habits you want to have. How 'bout you get in touch with that side by, I dunno, learning about animals, or helping them out by volunteering at a shelter or some crap. You can't be closer to nature by misappropriating it and personifying it anymore than you can pretend you're Native American by wearing a feather in your hair.

Anonymous said...

That was, without question, the greatest trolling I have ever seen in my entire life. Awe inspiring.

Touche, ChandraKai, touche my friend.

Shakespeare said...

The troll has been fed.
The post is now dead.

whimsiclekris said...

This is what happens when you feed trolls placenta.

Anonymous said...

Speaking as someone who has suffered from post partum depression... You do realize that it does not necessarily start POST Birth. Usually there is a window. Some people ONLY get it after 6 months some 12-24 months AFTER birth. Anything you eat you digest and works its way out of your system in 24 hours. So really why the fuck would you even use that as a justifiable excuse? its insulting to women's intelligence. This kinda shit isn't empowering to women. Its remnants of shit that came from the dark ages. and it ain't feminism. You want to celebrate woman hood and the power of creation? Donate your fucking placenta to medical research. Bank your cord blood. Thats powerful shit right there. And trust me, If eating your placenta had any sort of medical benefits some douchey guy would have`done a study on it already, if for no other reason than forcing crazy chicks to eat their own tissue. So go chant, have a good time.

Kristin said...

"We put ours in (a sealed bag in) the freezer, and we're going to bury it in the yard and plant a tree over it as a symbol of our daughter's birth and growth."

"Couldn't you daughter be a symbol of your daughter's birth and growth?"

No, because that would make sense.

Anonymous said...

So if it's ok to eat something from my body, then if I eat my shit I will be fine????

Ally said...

When I assisted a woman in giving birth, her placenta did things that I did not know were possible. It was amazing, magical, it grew wings and flew! But then it landed on the floor of the ambulance. I hope she didnt eat it because the 3 second rule totally does not apply to the floor of an ambulance.

I recently gave birth myself and I can honestly say that I didnt give a flip about the placenta because the baby they laid in my arms was the important parts. I'm pretty sure she doesnt think her mommy doesnt love her because I didnt eat something that came out of my bajingo. I guess we'll find out if she grows up to be a serial killer.

Anonymous said...

Are you guys really such sheep to April's bizarre obsession with the natural parenting movement that you would mob by the hundreds to a THREE YEAR OLD POST simply to troll it in hopes it would gain her approval?... Was all of this really necessary? This isn't even on Etsy, nor has it anything to do with the site as far as I can tell. This is someone's blog, dude. Mocking a dumb store is one thing, but trolling someone's personal blog by the hundreds simply because April has some sort of PTSD for anything under the natural parenting label is kind of gross.

Anonymous said...

My comments are anonymous. I'm not doing it for anyone's approval, i'm literally quite disgusted that someone would promote dead organ art and/or feeding said organ to their children. I'm doing it to stop the confused soul who stumbles on this "Informative" personal blog (although why you would think it was ok to post this crap in public and NOT expect normal people to think this is a derailment on the way crazytown is quite alarming.) If i wanted people to know who i am i would tell them to email me at youpeoplearenuckingfutz@hotmail.com.

Buttercup said...

I haven't commented before, but I am now. I am glad I found this blog—it doesn't matter HOW I found this blog—because it is HILARIOUS! I have spread it around to my friends and we're all in tears, it's so funny.

Don't assume that everyone commenting on this blog is from April's blog. By now you can be assured that many of us have been spreading the link via email and other online communities. One need not be following April's blog faithfully to think this whole discussion is WHACKED and derive amusement from it.

Anonymous said...

Your disdain for modern medicine is disgusting. So what if i want to have my baby in a clean hygenic sealed tube. I sure as hell am not serving up bajingo waste for sunday night dinner or planning a party where i will force unsuspecting birthday guests into eating a part of my body to create a memorable experience.

DarkSock said...

You know, that placenta would make a hell of an organic whoopie cushion...and the wet sputtering shart trumpeting would be most authentic.
.
As would be the smell, which would be similar to cutting open a 5-day dead cat's lower colon.

DarkSock said...

I named my placenta print "Elastic Snap Hole of the Love Bear".
.
Alas, since I am a male, I was forced to use my distended PinkSock.
.
Yeah, Google Image Search "pinksock"; g'head...

Anonymous said...

You lost me at "placenta." gag.

Anonymous said...

Ugh, Chandra, you are why people thing we Pagans are crazy. Can you PLEASE stop making us look bad? We've got enough shit to deal with already, we don't need you to make it worse by spouting this nonsense.

Please, before you make comments about spiritual/health matters/what other cultures do DO YOUR GODDAMN RESEARCH. FIND SUPPORT IN PRIMARY SOURCE DOCUMENTS. You're being completely irresponsible.

If you're not at least partially reconstructionist, don't claim that what you believe is representative of ancient/other cultures. If you ARE a reconstructionist, you're a piss-poor one.

If you have no idea what a reconstructionist is, do you even know ANYTHING about the NeoPagan family of religions? (Answer: probably not.)

Everyone else: please don't think that Chandra's representative of what all NeoPagans are like. Sadly, every family of religions has its crazy factions that embarrass everyone else.

Anonymous said...

Wow, you guys are seriously missing out. Eating placenta is a wonderful experience! I've eaten 3 of my own childrens' post-birth, and 4 others - three from family/friends and one of my dogs.

They are especially tasty prepared with lemon, garlic, rosemary & a bit of sage. Man, now I am wishing I were pregnant again because I'm hungry and it sounds so good!

Anonymous said...

Damn, I should have asked to keep my gallbladder after I had it removed. We bonded for 30 years... sure the last 10 were pretty bad, but cooking that sucker up would have totally made up for all the puking. I had "morning sickness" for YEARS.

I probably could have eaten it too-- I certainly could use the extra bile in my system.

Anonymous said...

Interesting, a leukemia patient could be cured with that placenta you are busy inking but hey I guess art trumps life now days.

Simple way to save a life and people are busy using it to make art and plant trees.

Anonymous said...

ChandraKai, first of all, Gaia and Uranus have nothing to do with placentas or eating placentas.
If you'd want to base your fact on Greek Religion (Δωδεκαθεισμός) you'd be calling Estia not Gaia, so yeah, your argument is invalid.

Please tell me you're a troll and not some agnorant woman who thought that giving birth is the most amazing thing that ever happened in her whole fucking life.

Bunnybun said...

ChandraKai-

If you're going to embrace one aspect of Chinese/Vietnamese culture (the alleged placenta eating) and then ignore the bigger issue of female gendercide, that seems hypocritical.

I would also like to suggest that some medical therapies (antidepressants, counselling, best beginning midwives) have been proven to help with post-partum depression, yet I can find no evidence for placenta-eating.

Placenta party woman-

I would strongly advise you do not feed your old placenta to your young child (if anyone). As previously mentioned, meat frozen for a year is not safe, nor has it been required to meet any kind of food safety standard. There is also the issue of toxins in the placenta that could affect your child.
Young children have weak immune systems so I definitely would not take this risk with your child.

I doubt a 1-year-old child would be fully aware that she is missing out on a placenta-eating experience, but if you are concerned, how about making her a fruit smoothie or a drink with red food colouring, as a symbolic representation?

Meezus said...

Kind of looks like a facehugger from aliens with the cord/tail still on it. Geiger would approve.

As for the nattering about eastern countries yummying down on placenta they also grind up tiger body parts to make their wang grow and drink snake blood to cure baldness. Its all ancient pseudo-science.

Bored white people are desperate for meaning they steal the most idiotic shit from other cultures.

Anonymous said...

Dear Anon who thinks we're ridiculous for posting,

I did not come here because of April (?). I came here because a friend posted this on their facebook and I couldn't believe my eyes.
Placenta....art? What sort of selfish person are you to keep something that could save LIVES so you could cover it in ink and slap it on a piece of paper? Or better yet save it so you can eat A PIECE OF YOUR BABY?!

Apparently the mocker has nothing better to do either, besides trying to dog on people posting here. If someone is willing to put this crap on the web, it really has no timeline as to when you can or cannot reply.

So go eat a baby.

Erin said...

I can't believe the level of disrespect in this comment trail.

You can be damned sure I wouldn't eat a placenta, OR make art with it, but people have lots of weird ideas when it comes to stuff regarding childbirth. Would you call people names who insist on waterbirths because they believe they are more natural?

Misinformed anonymous above:
1. a placenta is an ORGAN. it is not a "PIECE OF YOUR BABY"
2.there are thousands of births in the US everyday, and those women, if they were informed, could donate their placentas/umbilical cords/umbilical blood for stem cell use *if they are informed about it and if the hospital or birthplace has the ability to harvest such things.

I'm a mom, and i would never do any of this, but stop being so judgmental. I found this pretty funny on regretsy, but coming here to lay down a downright mean rant against these people because you don't agree with them is ridiculous.

Anonymous said...

I loved the birth process to the max, but do not feel the need to lug home a large, decomposing, organ along w my baby.

If your body expells it, so should you. End. Of....

Did any of you also print your baby's fist poo? Didn't think so. I'm sure you all dried them out into little statue momentos, of course!

Anonymous said...

Ok, other animals eat the placenta so that they can't be found by predators, or because they're malnourished. In the wild, it's in every animal's best interest to not have the rest of the world know they just had a baby (even top of the food chain predators. typically males of these species will kill infants to make the females need to mate again). so, they clean up their mess....they don't do it to feel closer to their babies, or to strengthen the bond

it's absolute bollocks to suggest that eating a placenta has any real effects on post partum depression other than psychological ones. which you can get from any number of things that don't include eating your own flesh.

this is not a matter of "to each his/her/it's own", it's a matter of reality. People spouting this drivel ad nauseum as if it's actual fact is disingenuous at best and dangerous at worst.

Anonymous said...

Personally I just feel sorry for the poor midwife or whoever gets forced into helping cover a placenta in ink.. I doubt they'd call it a 'really nice project'.
I bet midwives just LOVE squishing strangers' placentas around!

Anonymous said...

So it isn't the baby that you want to get out of the pregnancy, just the placenta? So the baby is actually the medical waste? I'm learning so much about the sick and disgusting society I live in.

Anonymous said...

While I probably wouldn't engage in alternative and wiccan placental practices, to each their own. this thread has erupted into chaos and extreme negativity that goes along with internet anonymity. i'm glad to see differing opinions and relavent points expressed, but i hope that we all can see that elizabeth and chandrakai (etc) are far from evil and are trying to put positivity into the universe in a way that likely doesn't harm anyone. i, too, find these practices strange, but wish to be part of a society of acceptance. open dialogue on difference is good, but insults are not. chin up to those who feel down or insulted as a result of this thread.

ChandraKai said...

Thank you, but the lack of civility, assumptions, mob mentality, sarcasm, mocking, defensiveness, profanity, inane jokes, accusations, name-calling, overuse of "all caps," threats of violence, and people who are bitter that they don't have granite countertops don't bother me at all. Everyone has a right to share their opinions.

Namaste :)

Anonymous said...

LOL this whole thread.
I'll stick to steak and advice from people who went to school for 12 years to earn a medical degree, thankyouverymuch.

TWee said...

What is wrong with you people!!!! This whole comment thread is a monstrosity! Why in the world would you want to eat your placenta? GAZILLIONS of women have given birth and lived without consuming their placenta..good god.. This not acceptable. There are plenty of things to eat other than placenta, and a placenta party, who in the heck would want to eat, YOUR placenta? If you have aids, your placenta has aids, if you have the clap your placenta has the clap.
This is just outrageous. Where are you people from, some hut in the rain forest? You don't HAVE to eat placenta. There is a job and family services right down the road from just about anywhere.

Anonymous said...

The people on this thread who are trying to impress one another from Regretsy need to fuck off.

Go back to your own site with your asshole comments.

FYI: I DO think this placenta art is nasty. But I don't think it's news worthy or Regretsy worthy for that matter. People have been doing all kinds of nasty shit with placenta since the beginning of time LOL

Anonymous said...

Erin,

Very good. It's an organ. That connects the mother to her baby. To me, that equals a part of the mother and a part of the baby. So, that equals eating a part of your baby if you eat the placenta.

And if someone is going to have a baby, hopefully they'll be well informed enough to know what they can donate. With the internet at your fingertips, the information is available to ANYONE who is willing to look. To say 'I didn't know' is almost a nonviable excuse anymore.

And speaking of the internet, ANYONE who is going to post SOMETHING on the web needs to realize that it's not always going to go over smoothly. You're going to get judgmental people, sarcastic comments, and general BS no matter your view. Because someone is always going to oppose it.
If you can't deal with that, don't post anything on the internet.

clothmama said...

Alot has been said here about how disgusting it is to eat placenta, but most people take it in CAPSULE form, as alternative medicine, because of the hormonal benefits. I can't believe how closed-minded some are about holistic medicine. Come on people!

Here's an awesome Time magazine video that shows the placenta encapsulation process. Warning: if you are really grossed out by cooked placenta, don't watch! If you can handle it and are interested in a natural way to beat the baby blues, check it out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuxeAbeDcU0

Jill said...

If someone feels compelled to eat or make art with their own afterbirth, well, then that's their issue. It doesn't hurt anyone (well... theoretically, it COULD, since it IS medical waste amirite?) but it's definitely not "normal" behaviour and to claim that it is is ridiculous. We do not need to consume our placentas to keep predators away from our children- that's what bio-hazard disposal containers and Chris Hansen are for.

As for feeding a piece of the thing to your kid on their first birthday after keeping it frozen for a year... no fucking way. First of all, the kid has no idea what's going on and can't really make an informed decision. I mean, I know that *I* wouldn't appreciate knowing that my parents tricked little one-year-old me into eating a piece of mystery meat that turned out to be a fucking year-old frozen PLACENTA. My goodness. WHY would you do that to your kid? Epic parental trolling, right there.

Second, as someone has already mentioned (but it's worth repeating), the placenta is a giant filter. There's all sorts of shit flowing around in there. The purpose of the placenta is to keep certain toxins and infectious agents away from the baby. Isn't it a little counterproductive to hold on to that decaying flesh-sack of gross shit, let it sit in the freezer for a year, and then thaw it out and proceed to feed it to your kid anyway?

When I start a family one day, I intend to donate my placenta(s) and cord blood. That way, I'm making an actual positive difference in the world. Reading about things like this make me slightly ashamed to be a female.

To each said...

Please would you just go on and do something useful with your lives, all of you? What are you all, 13?

This includes me for even commenting. Although it has been really funny. I don't really care what people do with their placentas, as long as I don't have to eat it when I'm over!

Anonymous said...

CANIBLES YOURE ALL HEATHEN CANIBLES! MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON YOUR DISGUSTING WHORE MOUTHS! I'M SURE A LOT OF THE PLACENTAS WERE CREATED OUT OF WED LOCK! YOU'RE ALL TERRIBLE TERRIBLE AND DISGUSTING HUMAN BEINGS!

Anonymous said...

Mad Butthurt.

Anonymous said...

Oh my god. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?! It came from inside of you. You pushed it out of your VAGINA. THROW IT OUT.

Catsy said...

I remember watching a documentary about human birth. This lady's placenta came out afterwards and pretty much just burst in this plastic container to catch it.

Another time, a woman's placenta was covered with blood and foul yellow discharge. Of all the things to not put in my mouth, this tops the list.

Anonymous said...

This sounds like a fantastic idea! I'll be adding my lightly braised placenta to a nice raspberry spinach salad, along with the kidney stones I passed last month. I hear they add a nice hearty crunch!

Megan said...

This has got to be the best comment/ discussion I have read in a LONG time. Thank you all for the laughs, the quips, and one-liners. If I could have you all over to my house for a party, I totally would. sans placenta.
:)

Anonymous said...

I like that someone has actually thought about feeding a human placenta to their one year old child. I don't mean "like" in an ironic, it actually makes me happy to think that someone thinks that is not a horrific idea. Placenta art is hilarious as well. And big ups to the random, "Tom Cruise does it, therefore it is OK" sentiment.

TheFlyingSpaghettiMonster said...

"Placenta Feeds Itself to Fetus in Times of Starvation"

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=placenta-feeds-itself-to-fetus-during-starvation

iloveplacenta said...

omg ChandraKai, please reply yet again with your oh-so-plausible references straight out of Tom Cruise's life, inarguable hippie logic, and questionable websites. I was gonna say we should also just eat our own poop, because much like placenta, it's just full of all the shit our body rejected hence why our body's getting rid of it. JUST SO WE CAN TAKE IT IN AGAIN.
You know who else was pretty successful? Hitler. He was a hit with people. UNTIL EVERYONE REALIZED HE WAS A FUCKING NUTJOB.

did you know who else pretty much tortures the SHIT out of animals in order to live? OTHER ANIMALS. You guys REALLY need to get on the ball with those fucking crazy lions killing all the poor zebras and oxen in their path. Why can't they just be zen and eat some fucking trees, OR THEIR OWN PLACENTAS AFTER THEY MAKE PRINTS WITH IT, FOR GOD'S SAKE?!

Ugh, stem cell research is SO SELFISH AND UNSPIRITUAL OF YOU FUCKHEADS. get with the times. can I get a placenta t-shirt?!

ChandraKai said...

Hi, Ms. Love. I'm a BIG fan of yours - "Live Through This" was one of my favorite albums (back in my "wild" days!) Unfortunately, I don't understand a word of your post, but if you're worried about Hitler and those "fucking crazy lions" you should use your name recognition to start a charity, awareness campaign, or something. Anyhow, good luck with that!

Anonymous said...

ARE YOU ALL FUCKING SERIOUS THIS IS SO DISGUSTING

WHY DONT WE JUST EAT OUR ABORTED FETUSES WHILE WERE AT IT.

AND LIKE OUR VAGINAS. LIKE A DOG.

Anonymous said...

you are all sick fucks. sick, fucking human beings.

'I AM A EMPOWURD WOMIN, LOOK AT MY NASTY FUCKING PLACENTA ART-WURK'

It's not beautiful, it's not special or unique, it's fucking gross.

If someone pulled out their anal cavity and smeared it on a canvas, would you consider it art? NO YOU'D THINK THEY WERE FUCKING INSANE.

and a placenta is EVEN WORSE. Placentas are BY FAR the most disgusting part of a body. horrible, disgusting things that should be burned before they grow legs and start screeching and harvesting children.

Anonymous said...

So, I just wanted to let everyone know that I've decided to start creating art next time I go on my period. I'm going to do some finger painting!

Also, I suppose I should start collecting some clots. Maybe batter and fry them or something? Would that work? You can deep fry ice cream - a blood clot should be OK, right? Maybe let it dry out a little first?

I'll also try out some tea - just pull out the tampon and let it steep for awhile. I think that would go well with the clots. Or maybe I should poach those instead? Any suggestions? Are those going to be as beneficial as the placenta is?

I unfortunately am infertile so I won't be able to take part in all the wondrous health benefits of eating placenta - unless I get it from somewhere else. I do work around with plenty of pregnant women - perhaps if they aren't willing to nourish themselves with it they'll let me eat theirs. I can just stand around and wait 'til it comes out, then I'll whisk it away.

Yum!

Luna said...

Wow, I wonder how those of you posting so aggressively aren't hearing yourselves. Is it really your right to decide what a person should and should not do with their body and their placenta? How is this hurting you?

If someone is choosing to do something for spiritual or religious reasons and you disagree with or don't understand their reasoning, but it isn't hurting anyone, how can you say it is wrong? Or actually go so far as to belittle and bully them?

We allow TRULY horrendous things to be done in the name of religion every day, and this is only icky.
Even something as common as circumcision is a religious act that requires the pain of another human. No one is hurt here. Worst case scenario is sickness for the adult willingly making the choice to eat their placenta.

Not every culture views things the same way, and no one is bound to beliefs that do not serve them. We are all individuals with hugely diverse personal needs for mental and emotional peace. If an American woman wants to follow an ancient tradition of another culture because she resonates with it on a personal level, that should be her choice (as long as no one is hurt). It's what we call, "freedom of religion".

If you think something is gross that's completely okay and you shouldn't be judged for that. No one should force you to eat your own placenta (or anyone else's for that matter). But be careful not to cross the line of bigotry.
It produces nothing positive. Not for those on the receiving end, and not for yourself.
Everyone deserves the same respect of belief and opinion as you do.

Anonymous said...

You don't actually "eat" the placenta. I believe what we are mentioning is a process called placenta encapsulation. The placenta is boiled, dehydrated, and ground up... It is then placed in a vitamin like capsul. Women who suffer from depression can benefit grately from this process! It will assist in leveling your Hormones and preventing post pardom depression when taken regularly after birth. Think of it as a postnatal vitamin.

Anonymous said...

The nurse dropped mine on the floor. Made a nice splatter on the wall. Can I sue her? Something along the lines of copyright infringement? I mean it was MY placenta to paint with, not hers.

Anonymous said...

Why not donate the placenta instead of taking it home and freezing it? You might be able to save a life instead of just having finger painting time.

Anonymous said...

Ugh I see April Cuntchell and her minions made their way here.
Attention whoring dingbats.

Go away, freaks. :)

Anonymous said...

What is wrong with y'all? Eating and painting with human waste products... almost as bad as creating art with human hair and fingernail clippings.

Anonymous said...

Don't forget to paint something with your dirty tampons too!

Anonymous said...

There is absolutely to evidence that consuming the placenta has any medical benefits. If you believe otherwise, then by all means provide a link to a properly-conducted double-blind trial published in a reputable peer-reviewed journal of medicine or biology, and I will consider the evidence. In the absence of such a study, please stop making spurious claims about unproven health benefits; it's counterproductive.

Anonymous said...

Why are we arguing?

We should be holding hands and basking in the glory of our totally unique Wombyn Goddess Gaia Magicke Druid power, while we smear rotting bodily fluids on ourselves and consume our own failed organs!

Anonymous said...

Air itself is a chemical, nimrod. It's impossible to be "chemical-free", no matter how liberal and earth-friendly it sounds.

Vanessa said...

No, seriously, some women actually straight up eat them. I think it's disgusting but there are forums where women talk about the best way to eat them. I read a discussion about how someone found it was better to eat it raw then try and cook it in a pan. gross.

Anonymous said...

Ooo Tom Cruise you say?? No way!! He must be on to something here! Like scientology!
What would we do without celebrities to follow blindly?

LuvsHorror said...

I had my diseased intestine removed, but I didn't think to fry it up for dinner. I've had three kids, never thought to consume the afterbirth. I'm not a cat or dog. I don't want to be a cat or dog.

Anonymous said...

I love the world today

David Rault said...

wtf did I just read?

Anonymous said...

Dafuq did I read? I have the same enraged feeling I get when I realize ICP still exists. Damn you, placenta-eating trolls!

Anonymous said...

ChandraKai, you're awesome. Thank you for maintaining your serenity in the face of a lot of noise. I may not agree with you about ANYTHING! (And I don't!!!) But I love that you're not getting offended or angry or mean. Rock on.

Anonymous said...

This is incredibly disturbing...

Anonymous said...

Oh My God, I do NOT need to eat or make "art" out of anything that came from my body in order to "get in touch with my feminine self". You people that do need your heads examined.

Anonymous said...

Holly crap, best laugh in ages ! The comments are glorious ! XD

Anonymous said...

These are the same sort of freaks that have earwax candles. Nothing that comes out of the body should be displayed for family and friends nor should it be eaten. Fucking weirdos.

Anonymous said...

Absolutely fucking disgusting. Bitches have way too much time on their hands to do stupid shit!

Anonymous said...

ChandraKai, I do not agree with anything you say but you rock! XD

Leigh said...

I havent laughed so hard in ages. This made my day. ChanraKai, you are the Queen of all Trolls and I tip my hat to you. Now excuse me while I go knit a sweater out of my own hair.

Anonymous said...

You are aware that this is medical waste right? I hope this is someone else's placenta because there are enough fucked up kids out there without you throwing in your donation of fucking craziness. Yikes.

Anonymous said...

I lolled

Anonymous said...

WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!!!! YOU SERIOUSLY NEED TO SUCK START A GUN AND FAST!!! I HAVE NEVER SEEN SUCK UTTER FUCKING INSANITY IN MY LIFE!!!

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I plan on taking a shit tonight and saving it. I am then going to mix it with my wifes menstrual drippings and blend it together with some strawberries and a dead possum I found on the way home. I will then feed it to my children and deposit the rest into our anus' using a suppository.

TRUST ME!! THIS IS NORMAL!! I learned it from the same people that taught me to drink my own piss twice a day to cure my breast cancer.

YOU MAM ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP. YOU SHOULD SERIOUSLY THINK ABOUT CHECKING YOURSELF INTO THE MENTAL HOSPITAL.

Lainey said...

It's interesting how so many people have such strong views on something that they know absolutely NOTHING about. Just because it seems weird doesn't mean that it's unhealthy or wrong to do. When I was pregnant with my first child, I thought it was weird too. Then I became pregnant with my 2nd child and experienced prenatal depression and just knew somehow that I would need something to help me through the postpartum period so I did the research and decided that I would rather have my placenta encapsulated and take that than some antidepression drug that has a side effect of SUICIDE and can also cross over into the breast milk. So, I had a nice lady come into my house and encapsulate my placenta and it was amazing the difference it made on my mood. I am pregnant with my 3rd baby and will have this placenta encapsulated as well. And for all of the people who have commented that this is something that middle class white women do, we are a multiracial family and the lady who encapsulated my placenta was black.

Most of you people have no idea what you are talking about.

Anonymous said...

Wow. Incredibly surprised by the amount of hostility here. Everyone is foolishly acting as if the placenta is made into a roast or something. It's not. It's encapsulated into little tiny pills like look like nothing more than a vitamin. And did any of you ever think that maybe a woman's body pushes the placenta out so it CAN be used?? Hmm. Because remember, the placenta is attached to the baby and hence comes out when the baby does. Also, maybe some actually research on the benefits of placenta encapsulation would do all of you some good before attacking good mothers that decided to take a very natural approach to feeling less fatiqued, more uplifted, and increasing their breastmilk supply. I suppose the haters here think a mother should just take a Prozac and risk the side effects to herself and her newborn (when breastfeeding).Nevermind the harmful chemicals in a psychotropic medication that could cause a mother to want to kill herself. Yes geez, such a selfish act to take a naturally-made specifically BY and FOR your own body to be a happier, more rested and breastfeeding momma. I give mad props to any mother that decides to take this gentle and beautiful approach to health and well being. I applaud you. <3

jill said...

there are many benefical aspects to consuming the placenta. some people put it in capsules so they dont have to "eat" it. if its not for you thats find but try to open ur mind and figure out the reasons behind it before bashing people who are hurting no one and just trying to do whats best for them.

PopnPip said...

The comments that came out of this are HILARIOUS. It's so polarizing. I'm just looking for tips on how to approach doing my placenta print after being frozen for a year.

I don't see it as my own organ, it grew, with my child, with her DNA, from the same egg and sperm, to support her growth and development. It was born with her. It's not mine, it's not hers. It's not an organ that is needed any more or malfunctioned and needed to be removed. It wasn't removed for vanity. It deserves to be honoured for the the part it played and deserves more respect than being incinerated or mulched and sent out to sea. The print looks like a tree. The tree represents life. It's cool and symbolic.

Anonymous said...

Foreskins are saved andthen sold to go into high end cosmetics. At least people are only eating their own placentas.

Anonymous said...

You can actaully cut off a piece of placenta off and put it in-between you cheek and teeth to stop hemorrhage bleeding that may occur during child birth. I think its amazing how women can be creeped out by something their body naturally makes inorder to carry your child's life! Did you know that your baby's placenta has the same DNA as you baby? And women give that precious gift up while the hospital makes money selling them!! Women were onced prasied for being able to birth! Then guess who told them they couldn't? Hospitals!